ONE MINUTE MELEE SEASON IV: Hercule Satan X John Calibur
Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! As the Hibiki family name is being pissed on by EVERYONE, one man will fight to prove Dan's a worthy combatant, and not just an insult to SNK. His Target: the one opponent Dan will never beat: Hercule Satan himself. Who is more driven in a Joke fight that almost wasn't? Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE!!! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Hercule Satan.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES John Calibur.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Beginning LOCATION: FRANCE TIME: 22:36 Hercule Satan: Heh! That pink wearin' sonuva bitch REALLY had it coming... TWICE! As Hercule was gloating across town, a shady figure spoke to cease all Gloating... (Cues Pink Floyd - A Momentary Lapse of Reason - Sorrow Starting from 1:48.) ???: So, you saying Dan can't beat even a Magikarp? Hercule: Uh, YEAH! That damned excuse of a fish could easily wipe out Dan just with his splashing! But that is where the Magikarp jokes end. ???: Incorrect, dumbass. Magikarp at lv. 100's Flail rarely works, and Splash is useless. Dan can at least walk to it, and beat its face, & kill it. Hercule: (OH, CRAP! Dan can beat someone?! I dunno who this guy is, but I'm fearing him!) The shady figure got up, and revealed himself to Hercule. John Calibur: Name's John Calibur. Hercule then laughed as he saw a terribly drawn entity that looked, AND sounded stupid. Hercule: AHAHAHAHA!!! You're not so scary after all! You seem more like a Rayman ripoff made from crayon! Are you even embarrassed in the slightest? John Calibur: No. Hercule: (OH, CRAP! THIS GUY HAS AN ANSWER TO EVERYTHING! This is NOT good...!) John Calibut then made a suggestion. John Calibur: Uh, last time I checked this day in age, there's this quote called "Actions speak louder than Words.". Why don't we fight to decide Dan Hibiki's humility? You get to use your full arsenal even, I'm not afraid of you're stupidity. Hercule was in a bliss. He could prove right now that this "Ally of the Hibiki's" is a joke compared to even him! And he would have ALL the tools needed to fight him! Hercule: I accept! You're going to eat the ground after this is over! John Calibur, looked dumbfounded, as the two prepared themselves. John Calibur: That was a really lame Witticism... The Fight TRIUMPH OR DIE... FIGHT! 59.9-52.4: As Hercule came at John Calibur, he punched Hercule in the gut, then kicked him, hard. Ol Satan was sent flying, but while he was in the air, John Calibur was playing catch with himself with a Smiley Ball. Hercule decided to pull out his Jetpack, and tried to ram at John Calibur. But it was no use... 53.2-51.6: John Calibur: Not so fast, dude! 50.7-48.4: Hercule: OH SH- AAAAAAAAAH! 47.9-38.3: Hercule was out of control over his Jetpack, and yet... He managed to ram into John Calibur, thus sending him flying. As Hercule got a foothold on the ground, he pulled out a Missile Launcher, and shot a round. It missed as John Calibur ran out of the way. The rest didn't miss though. 41.1-37.5: John Calibur: You know, you don't eve- Ow, owowow, DAMN that hurt! 36.7-33.2: Hercule: He's just talk! I'm gonna Kung fu his ass all over! 31.9-19.6: As Hercule was charging at John Calibur, his physical prowess was more useful than he suspected, kicks that did a crapton of damage, thus breaking bone. Hercule then did a palm to the face. John Calibur was about to be sent flying, until Hercule karate chopped him at the head, sending him straight to the ground. A possibly dead John Calibur was bleeding hard. Hercule Satan simply laughed as he walked away. 20.9-17.3: Hercule: HA! That was certainly no Dan Hibiki fan! I win! 17-15.8: ???: Oh, I wouldn't COUNT ON THAT YET! (Cues Doctor Who Series 8 OST 2: A Good Man? (12th Doctor's Theme) Starting from 2:56.) 15.7-0.1: The thought to be Dead John Calibur actually was his more powerful form; John MK-2. Hercule made a bolt for it in pure fear, but John MK-2 was too much for poor Hercule Satan... John MK-2's Gatling Gun shattered Hercule's confidence, his Heli-Mode seeked him out, and his Super Smiley Attack bombed Hercule Satan at the last second... & then, there is no more anything... (Cues Doctor Who Series 8 OST 2: A Good Man? (12th Doctor's Theme) Ends from 3:20.) K.O.! After the explosions subsided, John Calibur as he is once again referred to, contacted The Stranger... John Calibur: Yo! This is Johnny to base! Dan Hibiki is avenged! Stranger: Roger that. Return to base. John Calibur: Yessirree!! John Calibur then ran all the way back to base... Results/Credits (Cues Machinae Supremacy - Player One) THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... JOHN CALIBUR! Hercule Satan is from DRAGONBALL Z, owned by Bird Studio/SHONEN JUMP John Calibur is from RAKUGAKI SHOWTIME, owned by TREASURE. Sorrow is performed by Pink Floyd. A Good Man? is from DOCTOR WHO, owned by BBC. Player One is performed by Machinae Supremacy. Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Joke One Minute Melees Category:'Anime/Manga vs Video Games' themed One Minute Melees Category:Idiot vs Idiot themed One Minute Melee Category:Idiot vs Not as Idiotic themed One Minute Melee Category:One Minute Melees with a returning combatant Category:BMHKain Category:One Minute Melees with Music